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How to be Zen when you're irritated : tips and tricks

By : Veronique - Categories : Health and wellness

We are all faced with many daily tensions, frustrations and even stress. Anger is a completely natural human emotion. However, it is sometimes complicated to maintain our calm, to remain calm in certain situations. Discontent and irritation disrupt the balance of the body. We must therefore aspire to inner peace by striving to consider only the positive and comforting aspects of life, even in seemingly negative circumstances.

In this article, we will try to understand the reasons that can cause us to get angry. And then, I will present practical strategies and proven tips for staying calm, even in the most demanding moments! Discover how to transform anger into serenity and cultivate lasting inner peace on a daily basis.

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Understanding irritability

Do you frequently get angry for reasons that seem out of proportion to the situation? Before finding solutions to stay calm in all circumstances, it is good to be able to take a step back. If you are experiencing a problem with inappropriate or excessive anger, look at the situation objectively. Becoming aware of your weaknesses is the start of real work on yourself.

Here are some common symptoms of excessive anger or irritability:

1. Impulsive reactions: Stress manifests itself in different ways. Your nerves are on edge, you react quickly and impulsively to situations. You may even shout, throw objects, or say hurtful things without taking the time to think.

2. Physical tension: Anger manifests itself in your body: your heart rate increases, you have trembling hands, tense muscles and sweats.

3. Excessive negative thoughts: When you are angry, the brain tends to go in all directions. You have anxiety, recurring negative thoughts, ruminations on past events, or negative anticipations about the future.

4. Sleep problems: You have restless nights, insomnia or nightmares.

5. Impact on relationships: If you are often angry, your relationships with others are disrupted and you may be in frequent conflict with those around you. The negative impact on your personal and professional relationships cannot be neglected. You may tend to isolate yourself.

6. Difficulty concentrating: When your brain is foggy with anger, your ability to concentrate on certain tasks is reduced. It's normal, your brain is no longer able to manage all the thoughts and emotions that accumulate.

7. Emotional distress: It results from a set of negative emotions which, when experienced persistently, can lead to significant health consequences such as depression and anxiety. You can no longer manage your emotions at all. This condition should not be taken lightly, get help.

If you tend to have an angry temperament and if you have the habit of exploding and losing your temper at every annoyance or difficulty, be aware that the risks to your physical and mental health are significant:
- Risk of heart disease
- Decrease in the immune system
- Depression
- Reduced respiratory capacity
- Reduced life expectancy

If this destructive temperament has a negative impact on your life, consider consulting a professional, psychologist or psychiatrist. Other therapies can also be particularly effective, such as acupuncture. In short, don't be alone with your distress.

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I'm angry: why do I get angry too quickly?

Anger is a normal human emotion that can express itself differently from one person to another: from simple annoyance, to frustration, irritation or even fury.

When anger is controlled, it is helpful in making positive changes in our lives. But if anger is experienced, very intense and frequent, it can be harmful in many ways.

If you feel like you're getting angry too quickly and it's becoming too overwhelming a problem, try asking yourself where this anger comes from and what you can do to heal it.

1. Stress and pressure: Chronic stress is a scourge. When you're stressed, your frustration tolerance threshold generally decreases. Normally, you wouldn't have reacted. But stress quickly increases the likelihood of angry reactions.

2. Managing emotions: This is not always easy. Suppressing your emotions instead of expressing them is not always a good thing because sooner or later they will explode. This is what I call the pressure cooker effect. Other emotions can also manifest at the same time as anger: sadness, shame, vexation, guilt or fear. In many cases, people resort to anger because they have difficulty expressing their emotions.

3. Unmet expectations: Anger is often linked to a source of frustration: our plans do not achieve the desired results; the desired objective escapes us; or people act in ways contrary to what we would like.

4. Communication problems: Lack of communication or misunderstandings often generate conflicts. Not feeling heard, understood or respected can trigger angry reactions.

5. Mental health: Anxiety or depression can influence how you deal with anger and emotions in general. Knowing how to manage your emotions effectively requires a certain amount of calm.

6. Parental Model: At other times, there is no obvious trigger. Additionally, some people are more susceptible than others, and men and women may express anger differently, but not always. Home environment and parental role models can also play a role in how you deal with anger. If you grew up in a home where anger was poorly managed or expressed inappropriately, you may tend to repeat these behavioral patterns.

Anger itself is not necessarily a problem. It's mainly how you manage it that can be problematic. If despite your efforts, you cannot manage it, perhaps it would be wise to consult a therapist?

Techniques for staying calm and zen in all circumstances

Now that we have a better understanding of irritability, let's see how you can stay zen in difficult situations.

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1. How to stay calm with deep breathing

What is deep breathing? This is a breathing technique that is slow, deep and abdominal.

When you feel upset, take some time to process the situation. This saves time for the rest of your day. How exactly does it work? It's simple: breathe in slowly through your nose, count to four, then breathe out slowly through your mouth, and also count to four. You repeat the breath as many times as necessary, until you are calmed.

I don't know if you know about cardiac coherence, but it works on the same principle. There are cardiac coherence applications on smartphones like Respirelax+ which help you better manage your stress. Abdominal breathing is an excellent method of relaxation and calming, it will allow you to oxygenate your body and brain.

It is a technique that can be used as an emergency technique to quickly calm your anger or stress. You can use it daily to promote relaxation and long-term stress management. It is through breathing that the body is oxygenated. At first you might feel dizzy, that's normal! The more regularly you practice deep breathing, the more effective it will be when you need it.

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2. Taking a step back

Easier said than done, you might say!

Know that as a general rule, practicing regular physical activity and oxygenating the brain is an excellent way to be in the present moment and take a step back from the situation.

If you are aware that you have a tendency to get angry, take the time to observe yourself with calm and detachment. Taking a step back means taking the time to think before reacting. If you know you have to deal with a situation that is complicated for you (for example, calling or meeting someone with whom relations are strained), prepare for it. Isolate yourself, breathe, and calm down. You will then be in a better position, mentally and physically, to face the situation.

I know it's not always possible to anticipate everything. You can also decide to withdraw from the situation for a few moments if you feel that you are not capable of confronting it. Simply leave the room for a short while and take some time to calm down so you can think before you act. For example, if you notice your tone rising during an interaction with someone, simply say "I need a moment, we'll talk about this calmly later" and go get a coffee.

And then sometimes, the best thing to do is simply to run away from certain toxic people or situations that are bad for you!

3. Express your emotions constructively

Talk openly and calmly about what annoys you. Express your emotions constructively instead of repressing them or exploding in anger. It's important to release your emotions in a healthy way. The message will be better received by your interlocutor.

I am aware that depending on the family model we have had, we do not necessarily have all the keys to correctly expressing our emotions. There are therapeutic anger management groups. Do not hesitate to ask.

4. How to manage anger with meditation

We tend to view meditation as a hobby, an activity that allows us to relax from time to time. And then we fall back into the hectic pace of our daily life without really transforming it. True meditation is a choice, an art of living, a breathing of the soul which allows you to take back the rudder of your life to steer it in an upward direction, in harmony with the deepest aspirations of your true being.

Meditation is a powerful practice for cultivating inner peace. Spend time regularly in meditation. It will teach you to observe your thoughts and emotions without reacting to them automatically.

Meditation with sacred geometry symbols is an inspiring experience. Sacred geometry symbols have been used for thousands of years for meditation, healing, and spiritual growth.

So, here are some ideas for meditating step by step with symbols:

1. Start by choosing a sacred geometry symbol that appeals to you or resonates with you. Each symbol has its own energy. I invite you to let yourself be inspired by the symbol and what it conveys. Did you choose it? Then you can have it printed on a canvas or use it on a smaller support that you can take everywhere with you, like the harmonizing disc.

2. Find a quiet, peaceful place to meditate. It is also important to meditate with peace of mind. You can light candles, incense or put on soft music in the background to create an auspicious atmosphere.

3. Adopt a comfortable sitting position with a straight back. I do not recommend lying down. You will be much more active while sitting. You can also choose to sit lotus or cross-legged if that suits you.

4. Fix your gaze on the sacred geometry symbol you have chosen. Let your gaze get lost in its lines and shapes. Observe every detail of the symbol.

5. Breathe deeply and slowly through your stomach. Focus on your breathing. Inhalation and exhalation should be calm and regular.

6. Close your eyes and visualize the sacred geometry symbol in your mind. Imagine it as if it were in front of you in three dimensions, floating in the air. Let yourself be immersed in its energy.

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7. Meditate on the symbol, without putting any preconceived ideas or concepts into it. Just let yourself be absorbed by its energy. If your mind wanders, focus on the symbol and your breathing. Meditation with sacred geometry symbols can be a powerful experience, but it requires minimal concentration.

9. Meditate with the symbol for as long as you wish. You can start with 5 minutes, and then extend the duration of your session. Feel free to follow your intuition.

10. When you are ready to end your meditation, slowly open your eyes. Extinguish your candle and thank the elements for accompanying you.

Sacred geometry symbols are powerful tools for meditation and stress management. They help you connect with your inner self. They help you find inner peace.

5. How to calm your anger with essential oils

Essential oils can be your best allies to promote relaxation, reduce stress and help you stay calm.

Here are a few that might be helpful to you:

1. True lavender (Lavandula angustifolia): It helps treat insomnia, irritability, anxiety attacks and various manifestations due to stress. You can put a few drops in a diffuser before bed or apply it directly to your wrists.

2. Roman chamomile (Anthemis nobilis): Super anti-stress oil, 100% effective against nervous disorders (agitation, anxiety, extreme stress). It is extraordinarily effective in calming the nervous system. It relaxes, unwinds, calms the organic spasms caused by an annoyance. It is the physical and psychological antispasmodic essential oil par excellence. Its scent is exceptional and exhilarating. It combats irritability and insomnia. Its smell and flavor are refreshing, sweet, fruity. You use it internally, externally, in diffusion or on the skin. There are no contraindications.

3. Frankincense (Boswellia carterii): This oil is particularly renowned for its psycho-emotional effects. It is effective against depression, stress, low morale and nervous tension. It harmonizes the nervous system, it balances the emotions, it relaxes, it promotes relaxation, meditation, spiritual elevation. Frankincense essential oil must always be diluted before any skin use.

4. Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata): Ylang-ylang has a sweet floral scent that I personally love. This oil is excellent for combating physical, intellectual and sexual fatigue. Comforting, it is ideal in cases of stress, anxiety or insomnia. Use it either in diffusion or on the body (diluted beforehand with a base oil).

5. Bergamot (Citrus bergamia): This oil has a fresh and pleasant scent. Bergamot essential oil is an excellent sedative for the nervous system. It helps fight insomnia and other sleep disorders. It is also recommended by professionals against states of nervousness, stress and depression.

6. Vetiver (Vetiveria zizanioides): This oil is recognized above all for its tonic properties (circulatory, arterial, venous but also lymphatic). Stimulating, it would be beneficial for the body and strengthen the immune system. It is also tranquilizing and relaxing. Two excellent reasons to diffuse its scent in your home.

Please note, certain oils must be mixed with a base oil for application to the skin. Some essential oils can cause allergic reactions, so do a skin test first if you have sensitive skin. Follow the specific recommendations for each oil.

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Keeping cool: the benefits

Everyone knows that the human body is made up of a large number of organs linked together; everyone does a particular job, but everyone must be in agreement, in harmony, otherwise there will be disorders. We can only be healthy and peaceful if we put anger and all other negative emotions aside.

Peace is therefore a higher state of consciousness; only, as it is still dependent on the health of our organism, and as the slightest disorders which appear there can compromise our psychological harmony, these 2 organisms, physical and psychological, must be in harmony for peace to be achieved. installs completely. In the human being, peace is also harmony, a perfect agreement between the elements, forces, functions, thoughts, feelings, activities.

Our thoughts influence our emotions. Paying too much attention to our negative thoughts feeds anger. Try to focus, put your energy on positive things in your life. Don't harbor anger.

This deep, inexpressible peace is very difficult to obtain because it requires will, patience, love. Peace is the result of harmony between all the elements that constitute man: the spirit, the soul, the intellect, the heart, the will and the physical body. And if it is so difficult to obtain it, it is precisely because these elements are rarely in harmony.

Learning to stay calm when you're upset is a process that takes time and practice. However, the benefits to your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being are worth it.

So the next time you feel upset, remember these tips to maintain your calm and composure.

We've come to the end of this article. I hope you've enjoyed it.

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